Now Is Full of Then

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We are often told that all we really have is now.

That seems obviously true. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow hasn't arrived. Whatever life we are actually living is happening in this moment.

But there is a complication.

Now is full of then.

We don't arrive at the present empty-handed. We bring yesterday with us.

We bring memories of people, conversations, disappointments, accomplishments, mistakes, losses, pleasures, and ordinary moments we may not even realize we remember. We bring assumptions formed years ago and expectations built from what happened the last time.

So when we look at what is happening today, how much are we actually seeing today?

And how much are we seeing what today reminds us of?

The Past Helps Us Understand the Present

There is nothing necessarily wrong with this.

Memory gives our lives continuity. Without some connection to what has already happened, every experience would stand alone.

What we learned yesterday helps us make better decisions today. Relationships deepen because they have histories. Places matter because of what happened there. Even our understanding of ourselves depends partly upon remembering who we have been.

Then gives now context.

But context can also become a filter.

Something happens and, almost immediately, we compare it with something that happened before. We decide what someone's words mean because we have heard similar words before. We anticipate disappointment because we remember being disappointed. We assume something will make us happy because it once did.

Sometimes those conclusions are useful.

Sometimes they prevent us from seeing what is actually there.

What If We Looked at Now by Itself?

Perhaps there are moments when we should try something different.

Instead of immediately asking, What does this remind me of? we might simply ask:

What is here right now?

Look at the room.

Look at the person sitting across from you.

Notice what you hear.

Notice how you feel before deciding why you feel that way.

Notice what has changed.

For a moment, don't compare it with yesterday.

When we do that, something interesting can happen. Familiar things become less familiar.

We may notice that someone we thought we understood has changed. A place we have stopped paying attention to becomes interesting again. Something we considered ordinary suddenly seems valuable.

Perhaps even our understanding of ourselves changes.

The Goal Isn't to Forget Then

I don't think living in the present requires us to abandon the past.

I am not sure we could even if we wanted to.

Our past is part of us. It has taught us, shaped us, warned us, comforted us, and occasionally misled us.

The challenge may simply be recognizing when then is interpreting now for us.

There are times when experience deserves a voice.

There are also times when it deserves to be quiet.

Because occasionally we need to see the person, the place, the problem, or the ordinary moment in front of us without immediately asking the past to explain it.

Maybe that is what being present really means.

Not living without yesterday.

Just giving today a chance to speak for itself.

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