How Other People’s Stories Shape Our Own
If our life story shapes our identity, then we have to include the lives we witness and the lives we imagine. George R. R. Martin once wrote, “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.” It feels true. Stories widen the edges of who we are.
Tony Hillerman captured this idea in a different way. Writing about Navajo traditions, he said that everything is connected. The wing of a corn beetle. The drift of sand. The light in a man’s eye as he looks at his reality. All of it part of a larger whole. In that totality, he said, a person finds hozro. A way of walking in harmony. A way of being surrounded by beauty.
When we learn about the human experiences of others, our own experience expands. Their struggles, their moments of clarity, their hopes, their mistakes, and even the stories of their endings. Each one shows us something about the shape of a life.
Authors become the gatekeepers to these lives. They carry their knowledge and pass it forward. They open doors for the rest of us.
Harold Bloom spent his career studying the great writers. In Shakespeare: The Invention of the Human, he argued that Shakespeare’s 22,000-word vocabulary and the depth of his writing reveal a near-complete understanding of humanness. Bloom believed Shakespeare didn’t just portray people. He helped define what it means to be human.
In a 1995 interview, Bloom said we must read Shakespeare, Dante, Chaucer, Cervantes, and the King James Bible. He believed their value was intellectual and spiritual. Not tied to doctrine. Not tied to institutions. They tell us things we couldn’t know on our own. They strengthen the mind. They make us more alive.
Bloom used the work of these authors to define humanness. Their stories became part of his own story.
Shakespeare’s lines still meet us where we are. A few that stay with me:
There is nothing good or bad. Only thinking makes it so.
Hell is empty, and the devils are here.
Though this may be madness, there is a method in it.
All that glitters is not gold.
To thine own self be true. Then you cannot be false to any man.
The meaning of life is bigger than our daily routines. It grows through the lives we read about. Hyenseo Lee’s memoir, The Girl with Seven Names, taught us about courage, survival, and the cost of escape. Her story gives us awareness without requiring us to live the danger ourselves.
Even fiction adds to our understanding. Jack Reacher’s world is nothing like our own, yet the tension and the choices show us something about bravery and moral clarity. Literary critics often say that writing becomes literature when it aims to describe the human condition.
Poetry does this too. Maya Angelou challenged the status quo and wrote about the struggles and triumphs of marginalized people. Her words changed the way many of us see the world.
What we learn from the lives of others becomes part of our own lives. Their stories shape our story. Their experiences deepen our understanding of what it means to be human.
You have to see yourself correctly before you try to reinvent yourself →
Answering the question, “Who are you?
Reinventing yourself requires you to learn from each new step you take. It's in the present that you can look back at your past and see past actions in a new, more experienced light, which is how reinvention begins. This connection to your journey is crucial in understanding your past and shaping your future.
Examining past choices and the changes they brought about is a key part of the reinvention process. It not only shows the path you've taken but also suggests your next steps.
Which one of you are you trying to reinvent?
This photographer. Amin RK, captured the essesence of the reinvention problem. Where do do you start?
Change is the Law of Life and Today is Key →
Personal Development Books by Brent M. Jones
You will change tomorrow and your life if you change anything about today. The Laws of Life are a collection of principles that we live by. These laws include our thoughts and beliefs, core values, moral qualities, ethical standards, and principles.
Our character, a product of our thoughts, beliefs, and most importantly, our actions, is a powerful force that shapes our future. It is not what we say or believe but what we do that truly defines us and determines our moral value systems.
Quote by John F. Kennedy
“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future." --
"Address in the Assembly Hall at the Paulskirche in Frankfurt (266)," June 25, 1963, Public Papers of the Presidents: John F. Kennedy, 1963.
How You See Yourself Changes →
“How you arrange the plot points of your life into narrative shapes who you are and is a fundamental part of being human.” This is the subtitle of an article titled “Life Stories,” published in the Atlantic Magazine in 2015.
In that exciting article, Monisha Pasupathi, a professor of developmental psychology at the University of Utah, offered much insight on this subject. She stated: “To have relationships, we’ve all had to tell little pieces of our story.”
We share our life stories every day. Here are some examples of our greetings with others: "Hi, where are you from?" "Where did you grow up?" "Which school did you attend?"
Recently, I watched a salesperson standing at the entrance door of a store in a local mall. She made eye contact and smiled as people passed by. A lady passing smiled and said hello back, and they walked into the store together. I was nearby and overheard what happened next. The salesperson greeted the customer, asking where she was from, and got a smile and a reply. She mentioned a town in California where she grew up, and the salesperson replied with enthusiasm, saying that she knew the city well. They talked about the street where they had both spent time growing up. They had plenty of personal experiences in this town to discuss and share. Both women relaxed and enjoyed getting to know and talking with each other. It was clear they both had made a connection by sharing part of their life story about this town they both knew.
We see our lives as a series of events. We connect the events with a narrative that then becomes a story, our story. The resulting story, which we have mainly constructed, has much to do with our self-identity.
In the last 20-plus years, I had an opportunity to tell my life story in front of a church group of men at least twenty times. Each time I shared my story, it was always a little different as I added, changed, or withheld specific details or events. It was different each time because I had thought more about the story and had new experiences that changed with time. Yes, I was recalling it differently because I would reflect on events and see them differently.
In that same time frame, I heard a few dozen men present their life stories and often heard them tell their stories again after a few years. Their stories' emphasis, substance, and even conclusion changed for them, as my own had altered with each new telling.
Life stories are like books. They have plots, themes, timelines, and characters. We choose what is important to us and connect these events in a narrative, shaping and reshaping our self-identity differently over time.
People come and go in our lives, but some become significant and critical vital characters in our story plot as events occur, but then later in life, they seem less important. We look back at the people and events, filtering all we have been through with our memories.
Books and authors also influence us, much like the people in our lives. Art, music, poetry, literature, service, our heritage, and even food can influence us to the point of being part of our life story.
An unknown author's poem suggests, "Some people come into our lives for a reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime.” Some feel God sends the people that are needed. Others who may come bring challenges and darkness.
I believe we have a choice in putting together the narrative of who we are and who we become. We can pick which events we connect with and what we conclude about them and then weave and reweave them into our story. Finding or choosing a better perspective later in life can make much of a difference.
If we reject the case for being able to reshape who we are, we are left with a deterministic view of our identity. Some who embrace this belief claim that people are wired to be what they are. This view says that since we didn't choose our parents, the time or place where we were born, or our genes, we are programmed by cause and effect, resulting in our current circumstances.
It seems clear that this deterministic view is false. All you must do is tell your story to your family or friend and listen, or even write down, how you see things this year, and then do the same again in a year. Your story will be different.
Intellectual Arrogance Can Blind an Otherwise Intelligent Person From Recognizing the Truth. →
Intellectual arrogance is a set of characteristics that tends to blind an otherwise intelligent person from recognizing and learning the truth.
Intellectual humility is “the recognition that the things you believe in might be wrong,” A benefit of intellectual humility is the recognition that one's perspective will always be limited. This recognition leaves a person well-positioned to learn as much as possible from peers and subordinates.
Examples of intellectual humility
I question my opinions, positions, and viewpoints because they could be wrong. I reconsider my thoughts when presented with new evidence. I recognize the value in views that are different from my own. I accept that my beliefs and attitudes may be wrong. I am willing to learn from younger people with less experience, often referred to as reverse mentors. An example of this would be those who are technologically savvy or skilled in something new or different.
Intellectual Arrogance will hold you back
When you think you are better than anyone else, you won’t know what you don’t know because you won’t allow anyone to teach you.
In an Inc Magazine article: “Warren Buffett: Only 1 Thing Will Hold You Back From Achieving Great Things in Life.” he states that the one bad habit to pay close attention to is
”Intellectual Arrogance” and ignoring it becomes self-destructive in the long run, and doing something to rid yourself of it may hold you back.
The need to show people you think you're smarter than they are is one way to derail yourself from building solid relationships.
To counter the effects of intellectual arrogance, the most intelligent people stretch their knowledge by being open to soaking up philosophical wisdom or even just knowledge of the latest developments of others.
In other words, being clever without arrogance means acknowledging that you don't know everything. Then seek knowledge from those who may know more than you do.
Because, let's face it, if you're the most intelligent person in the room, you're in the wrong room.”
Why Your Past Self Is Holding You Back From Personal Reinvention and Your Future Success →
Do you ever feel stuck in the past? No matter how hard you try, you can't seem to move forward. If so, you're not alone. Many of us share this struggle with the limitations of our past selves. But the good news is that there are ways to overcome these obstacles and unlock your full potential for personal reinvention.
This article will explore why your past self may be holding you back and how to break free from those limitations. From the power of the past to the benefits of personal reinvention, we'll provide you with a roadmap to achieve tremendous success in the future. So, if you're ready to leave your past behind, keep reading.
One reason it can be challenging to break free from the limitations of our past selves is that change is hard. Our brains are wired to resist change and to stick to familiar patterns and behaviors, even when they no longer serve us. This natural defense mechanism is designed to keep us safe but can also hold us back from achieving our full potential. So, how do we overcome this resistance to change? I’d like you to please stay tuned for insights on the power of embracing discomfort and stepping outside our comfort zones.
Why change is hard
One of the biggest challenges in breaking free from the limitations of our past selves is the inherent difficulty of change. Our brains are wired to seek familiarity and resist anything that disrupts the status quo, even if it is ultimately beneficial. This resistance can manifest as fear, procrastination, or rationalizations that keep us from taking risks or trying new things.
However, it's essential to recognize that change is necessary and inevitable in life. The world constantly evolves, and we must adapt and grow to avoid becoming stagnant and irrelevant. Embracing the discomfort and stepping outside of our comfort zones can be uncomfortable, but it's often where the most significant opportunities for growth and transformation lie.
So, while it may be hard to break free from the limitations of our past selves, it's important to remember that change is possible and essential for our personal and professional success. In the next section, we'll explore some practical strategies for overcoming the resistance to change and unlocking our full potential,
How to overcome the limitations of your past self
To overcome the limitations of our past selves, we need to start by acknowledging that change is an inevitable part of life. The world constantly evolves; if we adapt and grow, we avoid becoming stagnant and irrelevant. So, embracing discomfort and pushing ourselves outside our comfort zones is not just beneficial, it’s necessary.
One strategy for overcoming resistance to change is focusing on personal reinvention benefits. When we take risks and try new things, we expand our skills and knowledge, which can lead to exciting opportunities and personal growth. It's natural to feel apprehensive about stepping into the unknown, but by reframing our mindset and focusing on the potential rewards, we can find the motivation to move forward.
Another way to overcome the limitations of our past selves is to seek out new experiences and perspectives. This can involve trying new hobbies like painting or hiking, traveling to different places such as a foreign country or a nearby city, or connecting with people with diverse backgrounds and viewpoints, like joining a book club or attending cultural events. Exposing ourselves to new ideas and ways of thinking can broaden our horizons and challenge our assumptions.
Ultimately, breaking free from the limitations of our past selves requires a willingness to take risks and embrace change. It can be uncomfortable initially, but by staying open-minded and motivated, we can unlock our full potential and achieve incredible personal and professional growth. In the next section, we'll explore the benefits of personal reinvention in more detail y. By broadening our horizons and challenging our assumptions, we become more empathetic and understanding,
The benefits of personal reinvention
Personal reinvention has numerous benefits that can positively impact our lives. By embracing change and seeking new experiences, we can create a more fulfilling and meaningful existence. One of the most significant advantages of personal reinvention is increased self-awareness. When we take the time to reflect on our past selves and identify areas for improvement, we become more in tune with our values, strengths, and weaknesses. This heightened self-awareness empowers us to make better decisions and live with a stronger sense of purpose.
Personal reinvention can also lead to increased creativity and innovation. By exposing ourselves to new experiences and perspectives, we can generate fresh ideas and approach challenges in new ways. This can be especially valuable in our professional lives, where creativity and innovation are highly valued.
Furthermore, personal reinvention can improve our relationships with others. By broadening our horizons and challenging our assumptions, we become more empathetic and understanding. This can lead to stronger connections with friends, family, and colleagues and increased opportunities for collaboration and teamwork.
Reinvention can unlock our potential and lead to incredible personal and professional growth. By embracing change and seeking new experiences, we can increase self-awareness, creativity, and empathy, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
In conclusion, our past experiences can act as shackles, hindering us from achieving our true potential. However, we can unlock our full potential for personal reinvention by understanding the power of the past, recognizing why change is hard, and taking proactive steps to overcome our past limitations. By acknowledging the influence of our past, understanding the challenges of change, and actively seeking new experiences, we can break free from our past selves and create a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
The benefits of such reinvention are numerous, including increased happiness, improved productivity, and tremendous success. So, take action today and start creating the future you deserve because, as Henry David Thoreau said:
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined."
Living your life is about reinventing yourself everyday →
Our lives change constantly, and those changes are additions to our life stories that enable us to see past events differently and contribute to seeing our past lives differently.
“How you arrange the plot points of your life into narrative shapes who you are and is a fundamental part of being human.” This is the subtitle in an interesting article titled Life’s Stories, published in The Atlantic in 2015. In that article, Monisha Pasupathi, a professor of developmental psychology at the University of Utah, offered much insight on this subject. She stated: “In order to have relationships, we’ve all had to tell little pieces of our story.”
Creating a narrative about the events in our lives triggers the conclusions of new experiences and knowledge our life has brought us. We could conclude that all we did was add clarity to what happened, but in looking back, we have new insights offering more clarity, and the events themselves take on new meaning. Through this experience, we reinvent who we are.
Quotes about Reinvention
1. "It's never too late to be what you might have been." -- George Elliot
2. "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." -- Lao Tzu
3. "The reinvention of daily life means marching off the edge of our maps." -- Bob Black
4. "Change your life today. Don't gamble on the future, act now, without delay." -- Simone de Beauvoir
Changing Your Future by Rewriting Your Past is Possible →
People think that only the future can be changed. Still, the future outcome of your actions is continually changing the past, according to a new theory that adds even more weirdness to the strange world of quantum mechanics. This theory says that when two particles interact, they become entangled on a sub-atomic quantum level and rid themselves of their probabilities. When you add the impact of future events to the last events, the effect of all the events themselves changes.
The past can and does change. It’s exquisitely sensitive and delicately balanced.” -Keiichiro Hirano, At the End of the Matinee.
