Listening Is Not Waiting to Speak — It’s Creating Space for Someone Else to Exist

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We live in a world full of noise. Everyone is talking, posting, pitching, and performing. But how much of it is true communication? Too often, what passes as “listening” is really just waiting for our turn to speak. The result is a shallow conversation that leaves both sides unfulfilled.

Authentic communication begins with presence. When we listen deeply, we do more than hear words — we give someone else space to exist fully in the moment. We recognize that their perspective matters, that their story has value, and that we can only understand them if we pause long enough to let their words take root.

Why would anyone want to talk to someone who only wants to hear themselves? If the other person has no purpose in the conversation besides filling the air, they might as well not be there at all. Communication without listening is an echo chamber, not a dialogue.

Listening isn’t passive. It’s an active choice to set aside distractions, judgment, and rehearsed responses. The goal of many conversations shouldn’t be to dominate, but to discover. When we talk, it should be to open doors — doors that invite the other person to step through with their own thoughts and experiences.

The paradox is that when we focus less on speaking and more on listening, our own words actually become more meaningful. Why? Because they are shaped by what we’ve heard, by the trust we’ve built, and by the context we’ve gained. Listening enriches our ability to respond with clarity, empathy, and purpose.

It was reflections like this that motivated me to write The Power of Authentic Communication. I wanted to explore how small shifts in how we listen — and how we show up for others — can transform not only our conversations but also our careers, relationships, and sense of self.

At its heart, communication is not about proving who we are — it’s about connecting. And connection requires listening.

So when you enter a conversation, ask yourself: Am I here to talk, or am I here to listen?

Because in the end, the most powerful thing you can say is often nothing at all — just creating the space for someone else to exist.

The Goals of What You Say and How You Say It

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The goal of speaking effectively results in the intended message being heard and understood and then acted on. There are two main elements to speaking effectively:

What you say and how you say it.

What you say means your choice of words. When talking one-on-one to a friend, the words you might use will likely differ from those used in a formal presentation or interview.

How you say the words might vary with the usual way that you speak in different situations. Your normal tone and volume of your voice and your body language will likely change based on your audience or your own feelings about what you say.

Effective speaking means being able to say what you want to say so that it is heard and acted upon. To accomplish this requires considering every possible tool and aspect to ensure that nothing distracts or detracts from your message.

Whether you are talking to a major conference about a new scientific discovery, your children about their behavior, or your boss about a pay rise, you need to be able to speak effectively.

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