Words Are More Than Words: Why How We Say It Still Matters →

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Two people can say the same thing, but only one of them is heard. I’ve seen it happen in conversations, meetings, interviews—even in the quiet moments between friends. Someone speaks clearly, and yet the message doesn’t land. Meanwhile, another person uses almost the same words, and suddenly the room shifts. There’s understanding. There’s a connection.

What changed? Not the facts. The difference was in the language.

Words aren’t neutral. They’re not just carriers of data. They carry tone, emotion, intention—and history. Even the simplest phrase comes wrapped in personal experience, shaped by culture and context.

That’s why I believe terminology isn’t just about technical accuracy—it’s about how we connect. It’s not academic. It’s human.

Take a look at the difference between these two questions:

“Can I help you?”
“How can I support you?”

Or these two responses:

“I don’t care.”
“It’s up to you.”

Same surface-level meaning. Totally different emotional effect. One leaves room for agency. The other shuts it down.

We often underestimate how much power these subtle shifts in language hold—not just to express ourselves, but to shape how others feel, respond, and remember what we said.

In relationships, this matters deeply. I’ve had conversations where miscommunication didn’t come from disagreement—it came from different interpretations of the same words. Tone wasn’t the issue. It was terminology.

It turns out that how we speak to others is often how we make space for them. It’s how we say: I see you. I want to understand.

Professionally, the impact is just as real. The way we describe ourselves on LinkedIn, in a résumé, or in a job interview doesn’t just reflect our skills—it signals how we think, what we value, and how clearly we can communicate.

A poorly chosen phrase can diminish a strength. A well-placed word can reframe a whole story.

In a world where attention is fragmented and conversations happen fast, it’s easy to reach for what’s familiar. But slowing down—to think about not just what we’re saying, but how we’re saying it—is a small act of care.

Care for the listener. Care for the relationship. And care for the story we’re telling about who we are.

Because when we speak more intentionally, we’re not just choosing better words.
We’re choosing to be seen.
We’re choosing to be understood.
We’re choosing to connect.

And that still matters.

If this reflection resonates with you, I explore more of these ideas in my book, Terminology Is More Than Words—but this stands on its own as a simple reminder: language isn't just a tool. It’s a bridge.

The Truth in Nonfiction Isn’t Always the Same: On Meaning, Perspective, and Why Communication Still Matters →

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We often treat nonfiction as the realm of clarity—facts, truths, lessons. But even in the most well-intentioned writing, something curious happens: each reader walks away with something slightly different. The same sentence might inspire one person and confuse another. A personal story might feel universal to some, but irrelevant to others.

That’s not because the writer failed.

It’s because understanding isn’t fixed. Meaning is shaped by the reader’s own experiences, assumptions, and readiness to receive it. No two people truly read the same book. Even when the words are identical, the interpretation lives in a different place.

This is what makes human communication both fragile and deeply beautiful.

We’re not just sharing information—we’re shaping connection. The power of words isn’t in how precisely they land, but in how honestly they invite others in.

I write books and reflections that try to be helpful. But I know that what someone finds in them might not be what I intended. And that’s okay. Sometimes the value lies in the conversation a sentence sparks, not the sentence itself.

So the next time you find yourself wondering whether what you wrote, said, or shared was understood exactly as you meant it—pause. The fact that it reached someone, and they made meaning of it, is a kind of success we don’t always name.

That’s the quiet miracle of communication: it may not always be exact, but it’s still connection.

The Fragile Beauty of Being Understood →

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Why Meaning Isn’t Fixed—and Why That’s What Makes Communication Human

We often speak as if communication is simple: say what you mean, and others will understand.

But the truth is more complex—and more human.

Even in nonfiction, no two people read the same sentence the same way. Experience, emotion, and perspective shape how meaning is received. That’s not a flaw in communication—that’s the beauty of it.

It means that understanding isn’t fixed. The words you speak or write may be clear in your mind, but they’re interpreted through someone else’s lens—through their story, their mood, their readiness to receive.

And that’s what makes human communication both fragile and deeply beautiful.

Because when someone does understand you—when your words, shaped by your experience, are received by someone else in a way that moves them—that’s not just communication. That’s connection.

It reminds us that words are not just tools; they’re bridges.
That listening isn’t passive; it’s an act of empathy.
That saying something well doesn’t guarantee being understood—but saying it honestly increases the chance you will be.

This doesn’t mean we should stop trying to be clear. It means we should try to be present.
To listen as well as we speak.
To ask, not just “Did I say it right?”—but “Did they hear it the way I meant?”

We don’t need perfect understanding to feel understood.
Sometimes, we just need the effort.
And that, too, is what makes communication matter.

When Knowing Too Much Slows You Down: The Entrepreneur’s Double-Edged Sword →

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We often think that the more an entrepreneur knows about their product, the better. But what if deep knowledge starts to become a bottleneck? In this piece, I explore how knowing too much can hinder innovation, delay launches, and lead to burnout—and how to strike a healthier balance between expertise and momentum.

For entrepreneurs, deep knowledge about a product or opportunity is often seen as a strength—a competitive edge that separates those who succeed from those who stumble. After all, understanding every angle of a product—its design, functionality, market fit, and customer pain points—enables sharper decisions across everything from marketing to customer support. But this same advantage can quickly become a liability if not managed wisely.

In entrepreneurship, knowing everything doesn’t always mean doing everything right. In fact, the pursuit of total understanding can inadvertently lead to stagnation, tunnel vision, or delayed launches.

The Advantage of Deep Knowledge

At its best, comprehensive knowledge empowers entrepreneurs to:

• Design smarter by aligning the product with real-world needs

• Communicate clearly by speaking directly to customer pain points

• Market effectively by differentiating based on true product strengths

• Support customers with confidence by anticipating and solving problems

This hands-on, all-in approach is especially powerful for early-stage ventures where founders wear many hats. It builds credibility, tightens execution, and helps reduce costly missteps.

Moreover, entrepreneurs who immerse themselves in the full product experience are closer to the ground—they understand the customer because they’ve walked through the product as both creator and user. This proximity to the market is often what allows entrepreneurs to iterate quickly, personalize service, and outmaneuver larger competitors who rely on layers of abstraction and assumptions.

The Hidden Downsides

However, the very trait that helps founders thrive—intense curiosity and a desire to master every detail—can also hold them back.

Here’s how:

1. Innovation Blind Spots When entrepreneurs become too deeply entrenched in a specific way of thinking about the product, they risk missing new angles. Their knowledge, while vast, can become a filter—blinding them to opportunities that a fresh perspective might uncover. In some cases, being too close to the product makes it harder to adapt or pivot.

2. Paralysis by Analysis The desire to “fully understand everything” can delay decision-making. Instead of launching with a minimum viable product (MVP), some founders spend excessive time learning, tweaking, or optimizing—waiting for the mythical “perfect version” to emerge. Unfortunately, this perfectionism can stall momentum and cost critical time in the market.

3. Burnout and Bottlenecks Trying to learn or control every piece of the puzzle also leads to overwhelm. Entrepreneurs who micromanage every aspect can become the bottleneck in their own company’s growth. Delegation becomes difficult, not because of lack of talent, but because of a reluctance to let go.

Balance: The Real Competitive Advantage

The key is not to stop learning—but to learn strategically. Entrepreneurs must recognize when their depth of knowledge adds value and when it creates drag.

Some questions to help navigate that line:

• Am I delaying progress in the name of learning?

• Could someone else contribute fresh insight I might be missing?

• Is my deep involvement improving outcomes, or just maintaining control?

Smart entrepreneurs know that the goal is not to be the smartest person in the room, but to build a team, a product, and a system that works without them needing to master every detail.

In Summary

Entrepreneurs who understand every aspect of their product are better positioned to launch with clarity and serve with excellence. But when knowledge turns into over-involvement, or curiosity becomes a crutch for delay, it’s time to step back and reassess.

Understanding is power—but progress requires letting go, trusting others, and allowing space for the unexpected

“Have you ever delayed action because you wanted to know everything first? Share your thoughts in the comments.”

#Entrepreneurship #StartupMindset #ProductDevelopment #Leadership #FounderTips

The Foundation of Authenticity: Understanding Your Core Values

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Authenticity is a popular buzzword, but how many people actually live authentically? It starts with understanding your core values—because you can't be true to yourself without knowing who you truly are.

To begin your journey toward authenticity, you must first clarify your values and beliefs. Start by making a list of what you believe. At a fundamental level, most people hold core values, whether consciously or unconsciously. Begin by identifying some universal values:

• Honesty: Even those who may choose to be dishonest often expect honesty from others. This highlights honesty as a core value—one that is desired universally, even when not always practiced.

• Accountability: Most people value accountability in others, expecting them to take responsibility for their actions. Recognizing this value in yourself can lead to greater integrity in your own behavior.

• Knowledge and Growth: Lifelong learning and personal development are fundamental to many. If you value gaining knowledge and continuously improving, this is another principle that should make your list.

Reflect and Refine Your Values

Listing your values is only the first step. To truly integrate them into your life, actively reflect on them in your daily decisions and challenges.

When faced with a decision, ask yourself: "Does this align with my core values?" For instance, if you value knowledge, does your career allow you to learn and grow? If you value honesty, do you communicate transparently with others?

This process of reflection helps you uncover even deeper values. For example, while you may initially list honesty as a core value, you may discover that transparency, respect, and integrity are equally important to you. Over time, this list evolves and becomes a clearer guide for your actions.

Living Authentically with Your Core Values

Core values are not just words on a page—they are the foundation of who you are. They shape your decisions, guide your behavior, and determine how you show up in the world. When you understand and live by your core values, you create a strong sense of self and a consistent, authentic identity.

#PersonalDevelopment #Authenticity #CoreValues

Gratitude Proceeds to Happiness, and It Is Required If We Want to Achieve It →

By Brent M. Jones

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Gratitude is the quality of being thankful. It results in being willing and ready to show appreciation for and to return kindness. It brings a warm feeling of thankfulness towards the world or specific individuals. The person who feels gratitude is thankful for what they have received and does not constantly seek more. By actively practicing gratitude and focusing on the positive aspects of life, one naturally experiences increased happiness

Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, feel more alive, express more compassion, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.

We will still have negative thoughts, but gratitude will help balance them out. “Gratitude is an emotion that grounds us and is a great way to balance out the negative mindset that uncertainty engenders,” said Dr. Guy Winch, author of the book Emotional First Aid.

The process of feeling grateful compels us to reflect on our relationships. It makes us feel closer and more connected to others, which helps motivate and sustain our efforts at self-improvement. We won’t be able to maintain our efforts for self-improvement without the help of others, and we will fail when we have the wrong motivation. When we're motivated by negative emotions, it is nearly impossible to sustain efforts to change. Is gratitude a soft skill?

Ask a person who is not grateful for the good things in their life, and you will find an unhappy person, but if you teach yourself or that person to understand and learn gratitude, it will become a life-changing soft skill.

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” – Anonymous.

"Thanksgiving is about Gratitude"

Unleashing Creativity →

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Creativity is typically considered a soft skill, but learning creativity techniques, such as cognitive methods like brainstorming, mind mapping, or lateral thinking, to develop new ways to solve problems is challenging because they are teachable and measurable.

This skill can positively impact both personal and professional life. By thinking creatively, individuals can generate innovative ideas, solve problems more effectively, and improve their cognitive abilities. Therefore, it is essential to consistently practice this skill to strengthen the neural pathways associated with creativity.

One effective way to enhance creativity is to step outside one's comfort zone and take calculated risks. Although it may seem daunting, it is essential to understand that failure is a natural part of the creative process. Many groundbreaking ideas and inventions were born out of multiple failures. Remaining curious, open-minded, and willing to challenge assumptions is necessary for cultivating creativity.

Collaboration is a powerful catalyst for creativity. By working with other creative individuals, one can tap into fresh ideas and push the boundaries of their creations. This fosters community and provides valuable feedback, inspiration, and encouragement. These interactions help individuals grow and refine their creative abilities, emphasizing the value of teamwork in the creative process.

Not only does creativity offer personal benefits, but it is also becoming increasingly important in the modern workforce. Employers seek individuals who can think outside the box and bring new ideas, especially in the face of changing circumstances such as technological advancements or global crises and when tackling complex challenges like sustainability or social inequality. Individuals who cultivate creativity can positively impact the world.

Did you know that consistent practice can increase your brain's creativity ability? Taking risks and putting in effort regularly can unlock your creative potential and achieve amazing things. So why not start cultivating your creativity today?

Why Life is Good

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Life is good or bad, depending on where you are or who you are standing by. The question becomes a little more complicated as you consider where you are going or have been.

A person's goodness in life consists of how external things impact the person and how the person impacts everything around them. Goodness can also be present or lacking in a person's consciousness. For goodness to be present, there must be a value created.

On the other hand, the question of the meaning of life today, or maybe tomorrow, could be that day by day, somehow, we might qualify for what our status might be after death. It's a journey of self-reflection and understanding. So, for them, the meaning might be “each day.” It could be added that one should find out what is wanted for the best situation after death and then do it.

Looking around at what life is about each day, it is hard to discount that life is full of other people. Yes, many are weird. Others will have opinions about us and whether our actions make sense. But in these interactions, there is a potential for personal growth. Perhaps even the weirdo may have an idea of how others treat them compared to how they treat others. This being the case, it works in favor of concluding that the meaning of life is in how we treat others.

Intellectually Arrogant People See Themselves as The Master of a Particular Subject →

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by Brent M. Jones (Published on LinkedIn)

Arrogance can be positive if it involves breaking stereotypes and stepping outside one's comfort zone, but that isn’t usually the result.

Intellectual arrogance is a set of characteristics that tends to blind an otherwise intelligent person from recognizing and learning the truth. Intellectual humility is the recognition that the things you believe in might be wrong; a benefit of intellectual humility is the recognition that one's perspective will always be limited.

This recognition leaves a person well-positioned to learn as much as possible from peers and subordinates. Examples of intellectual humility: I question my opinions, positions, and viewpoints because they could be wrong. I reconsider my thoughts when presented with new evidence. I recognize the value in views that are different from my own. I accept that my beliefs and attitudes may be wrong. I am willing to learn from younger people with less experience, often referred to as reverse mentors. An example of this would be those who are technologically savvy or skilled in something new or different.

Intellectual Arrogance is not just a personal trait; it's a barrier to your growth. When you believe you're superior to others, you expose yourself to new knowledge and experiences. This self-imposed isolation can hinder your professional and personal development, preventing you from reaching your full potential.

In an Inc. Magazine article titled "Only One Thing Will Hold You Back From Achieving Great Things in Life," Warren Buffett states that the one bad habit of paying close attention to is ”Intellectual Arrogance” and ignoring it becomes self-destructive in the long run, and not doing something to rid yourself of it may hold you back

The need to show people you think you're smarter than they are is one way to derail yourself from building solid relationships. To counter the effects of intellectual arrogance, the most intelligent people stretch their knowledge by being open to soaking up philosophical wisdom or even just inside the latest developments of others.

In other words, being clever without arrogance means acknowledging that you don't know everything. Because, let's face it: if you're the most intelligent person in the room, you're in the wrong room.

A Master Communicator Influenced This New Book 33 years later →

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Listening to a Master Communicator Influenced My New Book 33 Years Later. The article was originally posted on Brent Jones’s LinkedIn Newsletter.

Brent M. Jones is a Published Author, Writer, Speaker, Career Development Advisor, Consultant, and Experienced Business Executive

It has been 33 years since the day I sat by Stephen Covey, preparing to speak ahead of him. I just completed a new book, Mastering the Art of Communication: The Power of Precision in Language, and that experience and some thoughts about it served as chapter one.

Seeing how Covey’s The 7 Habits book is still doing now impresses me as an author. Back in 1990, it had just come out. I had read it several times, and my path had crossed Mr. Covey before, but look at his Amazon Book Stats.

Mastering the Art of Communication: The Power of Precision in Language - Chapter 1: Listening to a Master Communicator

    I learned some valuable lessons about effective communication firsthand from a master communicator. One Sunday in 1990, I had the privilege of speaking at the same event as Stephen R. Covey and sitting next to him in the speaker area. He was a guest speaker at a church meeting, where I was also assigned to speak. 

Stephen Covey was in every way a master communicator and a renowned author. He was named one of Time magazine's 25 most influential Americans in 1996, and his book, which had just come out, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," has so far sold over 40 million copies worldwide since its first publication in April 1989

The experience taught me how a speaker can capture an audience's attention and what makes communication more powerful through the speaker's skills.

Covey was different in front of an audience than privately. We visited before the meeting started and while sitting together. I knew several people who worked with him who had said that the speaker and the everyday man were very different men. It seemed to me visiting with him that he was exciting and indeed a good man, but besides his relaxed presence and bald head, he didn't stand out. Our conversation was low-key and casual.

When he stood up to speak, everything changed. He was charismatic and purposeful, and every eye was on him. His messages demonstrated his deep understanding of people and an incredible memory of recalling relevant details often sparked by his surroundings. He spoke without notes and found powerful words to deliver his message and, when needed, instant recall from long past events. The day I spoke with him, he didn't use a slide deck (a collection of slides used as visual aids during a pitch or presentation). He did many business presentations and often had hundreds of slides he could have brought to a screen. He seemed to know each by number, calling the needed slides up by number. As I recall, he was also well-known for that skill.

Over the years, I have asked others who knew him what made him so charismatic. Some felt that his bald head made him stand out, drawing attention to him, while others believed that his use of power-packed words, incorporating data into his speech, and speaking spontaneously without notes were unique. Many have commented on how well-dressed he always was when speaking. The audience didn't take their eyes off him when he said or was in the room. He seemed to be

Covey's message to the young adults in the audience that day was inspiring. He knew his audience, spoke their language using powerful words, and delivered his message using familiar church-based terms. Covey understood their goals and talked to them, not just at them. His body language was fascinating, and he stood in a calm, relaxed, and respectful manner while moving his head and arms like a symphony conductor, bringing relevance to his words. He spoke without notes, maintaining eye contact with his audience. His credibility made Covey stand out, which is evident from his effort to learn and understand what he presented to young adults. It was indeed a masterful message.

As a skilled master communicator, Covey could adapt his style to different audiences. He spoke using the terms of this audience's faith and the setting they were in. In his book, he said, "Becoming a good communicator requires behaving and thinking in a certain way." He demonstrated this thought that day, clearly showing that he could adapt to find what the audience was listening for.

For my book, just released in ebook and paperback, the product description is:

This book will equip readers with the essential toolkit for becoming a Wordsmith. With the right words, readers can communicate effectively and express their thoughts, feelings, and ideas with clarity and precision. Inside, readers will find a comprehensive guide to understanding communication, effective communication, and how to improve communication skills.

The benefits of reading this book include:

- Unlocking the power of influential communication to establish meaningful connections

- Discovering the right words to make a lasting impression

- Transforming your life with the correct language

- Step-by-step instructions on how to become a Wordsmith

- Industry-specific terminology, search engine optimization, demographic analysis, and situational analysis

- Tips and tricks for effective communication

---

The Primary Function of Nonverbal Communication is to Convey Meaning →

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   The title of this article is also the title of Chapter 10 in my new book, soon to be released, “Mastering the Art of Communication: The Power of Precision in Language.”

    The chapter begins: A primary function of nonverbal communication is to convey meaning by reinforcing, substituting for, or contradicting verbal communication. Nonverbal communication is also used to influence others and regulate conversational flow.

    Your nonverbal communication cues—how you listen, look, move, and react—tell the person you're communicating with whether you care if you're being truthful and how well you're listening. Your nonverbal signals match your words and increase trust, clarity, and rapport.

We use nonverbal communication to:

•         To Convey Meaning and Provide Information. ...

•         To Regulate Interactions.

•         To Express Our Identities.

•         To Indicate Relational Standing.

    People use this type of communication to:

•         Contradicts verbal messages

•         Reinforces or emphasizes the verbal message

•         Regulate the flow of verbal communication

•         Complements their verbal messages

•         Substitute for their spoken words

    Nonverbal communication is a crucial aspect of human interaction. It involves using body language, gestures, facial expressions, and other nonverbal cues to convey emotions, attitudes, and intentions.

  Professor Mehrabian Albert Mehrabian, Ph.D. well known for his studies in nonverbal communication. He believes there are three core elements in the effective face-to-face communication of emotions or attitudes: nonverbal behavior (facial expressions, for example), tone of voice, and the literal meaning of the spoken word. These three essential elements, Mehrabian argues, account for how we convey our liking or disliking of another person. His particular focus is on the importance of such nonverbal ‘clues’ when they appear to conflict with the words used and the tone in which they are spoken. Mehrabian developed his early theories on this subject during the 1960s. Drawing on the findings of two experiments he conducted in 1967, he formulated the 7-38-55% communication rule.

Professor Mehrabian's findings as typically cited or applied:

•         7% of messages about feelings and attitudes are in spoken words.

•         38% of messages about feelings and attitudes are paralinguistic (how words are said).

•         55% of messages about feelings and attitudes are in facial expressions.

   The Professor’s studies did not account for the profound changes in communication since the 1960s and assumed some things that likely changed the outcome.

   For example, when he used test subjects, he had a speaker present a word, but he wasn’t asking about the words at all from those in the test, but rather the speaker’s intent. When asked that, the audience responded that it decoded the intent behind the speaker’s words from visual clues 55 % of the time and from the tone of voice 38 % of the time. Only 7 % of the time did the audience go to the actual words.

   The words we use are less important than our feelings and attitudes about the words and, generally, when we present them. It is also clear that body language, especially eye contact and facial expressions, are far more influential than words.

Body language offers the speaker and the audience a great deal of insight into how words are received. The speaker also uses body language demonstrated by the audience to judge and moderate the impact they are making.

Your body language is directly related to your mind; according to Dale Carnegie, well known for his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, and a renowned professor at Harvard University, stated that our body language not only impacts others but has a tremendous impact on our behavior.

Nonverbal language is the most honest form of communication because the body rarely lies. People will first believe the nonverbal when you say one thing and do another (when your verbal and nonverbal language is not aligned)

Posted on LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/primary-function-nonverbal-communication-convey-meaning-jones

Is saying that soft skills are underestimated really an employment trend?

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When you hear about “Upskilling” what they are saying is more than soft skills are needed. That new hard skills are felt to be necessary in todays evolving job markets?

Are they really more important than polishing and using your soft skills. That has been the push in recent years. The implication is that with economic uncertainty on the horizon, upskilling opportunities for the workforce will become a prominent retention strategy, demonstrating an organization’s desire to drive employee growth and development.

Organizations today have picked up on employee’s desire for continuous learning, and push to offer learning and development programs set in place.

Employers want to attract the best talent and many now believe that to do that a potential employee would be wise to cover any skill gaps that may have. The result is offering the opportunity to job seekers and employees to develop or learn new skills is a solution.

Technical skills constantly change, but soft skills remain with you throughout your career. That's because they are relevant, transferable and keep an individual highly employable.

Soft skills sets top leaders apart. Interpersonal communication, decision-making, time management and collaboration are all soft skills for employees and job seekers alike.

More News about Soft Skills

LinkedIn's Global Talent Trends report found that 92 percent of hiring professionals say soft skills matter as much or more than hard skills

Is Zillennial a real thing? Put simply, Zillennials are a micro-generation that sits in between Millennials and Generation Z. Ketchum Inc. defines GenZennials as those born from 1992 to 2000.

Power skills are soft skills rebranded as people skills and they're a top asset in today's workplace. If you want successful managers and leaders, you need them to have power skills. Power skills include traits such as emotional intelligence, integrity, empathy, communication, and more

Are Soft Skills Important? According to the Society of Human Resource Management's (SHRM) 2021-22 State of the Workplace report, 77% of HR professionals said that improving employees' soft skills was key to their organisations' future plans.

Why Millennials Lack Soft Skills. Because Millennials are so proficient and reliant on technology, many of them haven't properly developed other skills apart from working on digital device

The Secret to Networking and the Informational Networking Revealed →

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I have written two books about Networking, and both used up space explaining the “informational interview.” In some ways, it is a surprise how these terms are just accepted, even in some cases understood, but so infrequently ignored when they would help.

This isn’t just for job seekers. It is what we do. You’re a lawyer with a big case but must understand what the other side thinks. You are a salesperson, and you need to understand who the real competition is and what they have. All your buddies at the hangout seem to have changed their attitude about you, and you don’t know why? Here it comes, the secret solution. Go ask. Of course, in some cases, you need to know who to ask.

Many years ago, going into sales and selling food to restaurants, I needed to know what they were buying. The easy solution I used then was to look in their garbage can. In some cases, it even told me who the competitors were.

Networking will likely take you places you never expected. Yes, garbage cans, but you will find meaningful connections everywhere. You know someone who knows someone. Remember, six degrees of separation is the idea that all people are six or fewer social connections away from each other. As a result, a chain of "friends of friends” can be made to connect any two people in a maximum of six steps. This is also known as the “six handshakes rule.” In March 2023, I published “Networking With a Purpose The Informational Interview, Its Use, and Why it is a Valuable Tool.” The introduction page states:

“In the following pages, I explain the purpose of informational interviews, their benefits, and the strategies to build a network efficiently. Here you will find a step-by-step guide, including a list of sample questions to ask to feel confident embarking on this critical process in your journey. Rest assured, the skills and strategies detailed in this book will serve you long after they land you that coveted job (or answers about your lawsuit or competition) as a powerful weapon for long-term success.

Did I hear someone say, “Gosh, Brent, is that why you wrote this article today to sell your book” Of course not. (Amazon link amzn.to/3T50llg )

Career Change Considerations: Active - Passive Search, Loyalty, and Needed Research

This article is also included in CEM LinkedIn Articles Section as well as on LinkedIn on my newsletter site

Why do passive job seekers have an advantage over companies looking to hire? Fear of making a hiring mistake is the driving force behind this practice. It leads to some employers judging job applicants by their employment status, although it has nothing to do with their talent or ability. It seems clear that part of what drives this fear is that the hiring manager do not trust their own instincts

Good jobs are often filled by the HR department or a recruiter asking someone employed if they would consider a change or finding a candidate that looks like a great match on LinkedIn and even though they are employed reaching out to them to consider the job. (Strong hint here, keep your profile current)

The employer assumes in these cases that don’t need to worry about why the candidate really left their last job and that the person must have value since they have a job. The employer puts themselves in a postion of a buyer. They may overpay and find that they didn’t have all the facts they needed. A potential employee is in the position of a seller where they hae to present their case. They still make the decision on whether to take the job but they also have to present the reasons why they should get the job and in the case of a company approaching a currently employed person they have already taken the first step in the “buying” process.

These folks are called "passive candidates." They aren't even candidates for a job until someone from the employer reaches them out of the blue.

Why would any employer prefer someone a recruiter finds on LinkedIn -- someone who may never have heard of your company -- to someone who has invested time and energy in reaching out to you to inquire about employment?

These issues bring the subject of loyalty into some focus. Will the employee a company steals or entices to leave their current employer be loyal to them? Would a potential employee who research the market and determined that his best fit might be with a particular company be more loyal to that company because of the work it took in finding that job?

Does hiring ethics belong in this discussion? I am reminded of a friend who told me how he was hired away from another company around 1950. He was working for a company that sold to stores in San Francisco. He was well known and the bigger competitor had been impressed by his work. Things changed for him at his company and he approached the main competitor and was taken to the President of the company in his interview. My friend had taken a lot of their business and it was obivos that he would be a valuable new hire. The President saw it that way and hired my friend but under a special condition. The new hire was not allowed to call on any accounts, not just his own but any accounts in the area for one year, and was required to work in the warehouse. The reason was that the hiring company did not want to take advantage of their competitor. Non-compete clauses were not used at that time in this area and field but company ethics, when practiced, were all that was needed. My friend stayed loyal to this company and their President throughout his career from that point forward.

Work Matters, and Volunteers Matter, but the Benefits and Motivations will often Vary.

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All work matters, but it isn't just the work itself that matters; all who contribute to it matter. All sides gain.

Volunteers do some work, but for most work, those doing the work are paid. Participants learn new skills, meet new contacts, and help get things done in both cases. Sometimes volunteers get things done that paid workers might not have done. With these benefits, you would expect a long line of volunteers from those out of work.

It is usually unknown who will be showing up to volunteer on a project, and those doing the work also often meet new people from various life backgrounds. Your connections with coworkers, suppliers, recipients, and organizations can make a difference to you long after the work is done.

Those receiving the benefit of the work done are lifted, improving their lives. Volunteering, working side by side with others, connect you to other human beings. When you volunteer, you are making connections. Paid for your time or not, always do your best in your work. It matters.

When you know, you have made a difference; you feel better about yourself. Therefore, taking pride in your volunteer work and doing your best work is essential.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it

This quote is by bestselling author Charles Swindoll. Another similar thought is from a Japanese proverb:

“Fall seven times, stand up eight.”

We must react positively to falling by returning up, even if it means falling again.

It is what is inside us that motivates us and keeps us going →

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Starting at about four, my mother would have me kneel at my bedside and say my prayers. The importance of that part of my life story has changed over the years, and I see it differently. I value this experience, and I am grateful for it.

The early assumption that God was listening and that taking problems to him would be helpful has been a comfort, even without confirmation of having been heard at times. This sentiment is summed up well in a quote by C. S. Lewis: “Life with God is not immunity from difficulties, but peace in difficulties.”

Others have shared how they were taught similar lessons at a very young age by saying a prayer many are familiar with: “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray thee, Lord, my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.” I have thought about this often: If a person dies and his soul is taken, what is the soul, and what exactly is taken?

 If the soul is eternal and lives on when the body dies, it must be made of different materials. If that substance is spiritual, then where does it reside within our living bodies? Is it separate or part of our living flesh?

Some have referred to the soul as the seat or location of our character and emotions. It is sometimes explained as the spirit within a person and the person’s mental abilities, personality, feelings, memories, perception, thinking, and even skills. Wherever our soul goes, if our particular skills are needed, perhaps our work ethic learned in obtaining those skills is part of the package.

Whatever it is that will go with me, if I die before I wake, I want to understand as much about everything as possible and make sure my knowledge is worth taking along.

Louis Armstrong once said, “Musicians don’t retire; they stop when there’s no more music in them,” and “What we play is life.” What, then, is that music if you are not a musician? How did that music, or that passion, get to be inside us?

Armstrong is saying that music is a part of his work ethic and life and is needed to exist. This leaves the question of what our music might be and how we keep from losing it. I conclude that my “music - passion” and what makes me feel alive are family, reading, writing, and service, but these items have evolved g and changed as I look back over my life story.

Music can be a connection between our physical selves and our very souls. We feel the music. It reflects our hearts. Music with scriptures are hymns, and we worship through hymns. The feelings of our hearts are conveyed in prayer with music.

Our bodies and faces reflect the images of happiness and sadness. Music and singing open up those feelings. Sometimes we sing for what we long for, using music to help us get by without the necessary things.

What do we long for? What do we have a passion for? Love and kindness are passions that can focus on us and drive our actions. We lose ourselves in those feelings; for some, opportunities for service to others reflect their hearts. When applicable passions fill our minds, we have a little place to worry about ourselves.

For each of us, what we play, rather than music, can be whatever we love. It can be anything we choose, but we need to feel passionate about it. If you’re lucky enough to love knowledge, learning, or service, then you are indeed blessed. That, like the music for Louis, never stops being an option.

Intellectual arrogance can blind an otherwise intelligent person to recognizing the truth →

Intellectual arrogance is a set of characteristics that tends to blind an otherwise intelligent person from recognizing the truth. Intellectual humility is “the recognition that the things you believe in might be wrong,” A benefit of intellectual humility is the recognition that one's perspective will always be limited. This recognition leaves a person well-positioned to learn as much as possible from peers and subordinates.

Examples of intellectual humility

I question my opinions, positions, and viewpoints because they could be wrong. I reconsider my thoughts when presented with new evidence. I recognize the value in views that are different from my own. I accept that my beliefs and attitudes may be wrong.

These thoughts were presented in Inc Magazine’s article: “Warren Buffett: Only 1 Thing Will Hold You Back From Achieving Great Things in Life.”

Buffett discusses the one bad habit to pay close attention to that could become self-destructive in the long run. He adds that not becoming aware of this bad habit, “intellectual arrogance,” and doing something to rid yourself of it may hold you back.

The need to show people that you think you're smarter than they are is one way to derail yourself from building solid bonds.

To counter the effects of intellectual arrogance, the most intelligent people stretch their knowledge by being open to soaking up the philosophical wisdom of others. In other words, being clever without arrogance means acknowledging that you don't know everything. Then seek knowledge from those who may know more than you do.

Because, let's face it, if you're the most intelligent person in the room, you're in the wrong room.”

What to Read Next and Why?

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The question of what to read next comes up over and over throughout our lives. Some offer answers but don’t explain why their choices should be of value to us—so understanding the why is the more complex question.

A successful fiction and fantasy writer, Neil Gaiman doesn’t hesitate to suggest an answer and offer a why; he said, “Fiction is the gateway drug to reading.”

He added that fiction drives us to want to know what happens next, and it becomes exciting and satisfies the excitement as we turn the pages.

When we read fiction, it increases our imagination and results in our finding something new of interest. The new things we find may lead us in a direction such as science, history, or art. So we could look for a biography of a person with an area of similar interest to our own.

Often the path to the next book, or even choosing one to re-read, is built on past choices. Years ago, I watched the movie “Apocalypse Now.” That led me to reread Joseph Conrad’s “Heart of Darkness,” set in Africa with the same basic plot. The book was considered one of Conrad’s best. 

Some criticized Conrad’s book for having a white man’s perspective on life in Africa. I wanted to find another view.  I wondered if there were good African writers that I could read. At that point in my life, I had never looked for African writers. I looked and found many good ones who were respected for their work. I found several authors of interest.  At the time, Chinua Achebe emerged as a well-known African author for his book “Things Fall Apart.”

It seemed to be the perfect “other point of view” I was looking for. This book is indeed something that should be read by anyone who reads “Heart of Darkness” and wonder if they have seen Africa correctly.

The question is still what to read but answering the why is easier. Reading is good for you because it improves your focus, memory, empathy, and communication skills. It can reduce stress, improve your mental health, and help you live longer. Reading also allows you to learn new things to help you succeed in your work and relationships.

Proactive Management is a Leadership Style that Emphasizes Strategic Planning and Risk Management →

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Proactive management is a leadership style that emphasizes strategic planning and risk management rather than taking a reactive approach to situations and business goals.

“If you're proactive, you focus on preparing. If you're reactive, you end up focusing on repairing.” - Quote by John C. Maxwell

Proactive management can be applied to any industry through leadership that emphasizes planning and forward-thinking by seeking out new opportunities for the company and dealing with any threats or problems before they even emerge.

An article in the Journal of Business and Psychology Vol. 29, No. 1 (March 2014) by Diane M. Bergeron, Tiffany D. Schroeder, and Hector A. Martinez titled “Proactive Personality at Work: Seeing More to Do and Doing More?” states:

“that a “proactive personality is a stable personality related to taking personal initiative and behaving proactively.”

Proactive people don't see challenges as having the final say, as they keep their focus on solutions. As a result of early action, they typically have confidence as they face the future. This gives them a sense of calm about the future and composure when facing obstacles