We can create a narrative of who we are and who we have become. We can pick which events we connect with and what we conclude about them and then weave and reweave them into our story. As my story changes with the retelling, it changes me. I become different because of how I see the story. This act of retelling is not just a passive recounting but an active engagement with our own narrative.

When you tell your life story, you create a narrative from what you recall that includes characters, plot, conflict, setting, point of view, and atmosphere, in the same way you would if you were writing a story. The various parts work together to share your intended message.

Do you know if this is true? Do you think writing a historical summary of your life presents an intended message? Yes, it is because it was not just the facts that happened. Maybe you meant it to be the facts, but like it or not, how you connect the pieces of the story leads to some conclusions that can be considered your message, if you don't mind.

The life story you present might be intended for the audience listening at the time, but the one person who is always in that audience is you. The message can help you understand how you became you and clarify how you see yourself.

Let us give the idea of finding clarity in our story some more thought. If the arrangement of the story dictates the intended message, is it fair to rearrange the plot points of importance to change the message? Consider trying this experiment. Tell your life story to someone and record it as you do so or have some trusted friends listen, and then, after a few hours, tell someone else your life story by registering it or having the same friends listen. You will find that you tell the story differently each time you mean it. You rearrange your plot point and emphasize events and the overall message changes.  

What if you retell the story and realize that the previous way you presented events was wrong? In telling the story, you re-consider past events and see them differently. Does that mean your new overall message explains who you are more accurately?  Does it mean you can change who you think you are by picking areas to study and reconsidering your life?

Yes, it does because we are the authors of our stories, and we can change how we tell them. We can edit and change the way we tell the facts. As each day goes by, we constantly change our lives and add to our stories.  Tell your life stories often, and by doing so, reinvent yourself each time. This process of reflection and reinvention is not just a narrative exercise but a powerful tool for personal growth and development.

The thoughts in this short essay above led me to write the book Why Life Stories Change: As You Look At Your Own Life Story, You See Yourself Differently. You can read more about this book in the My Books Section.