There is no one whose story I am as familiar with as much as my own and the same is true for you. This seems so obvious, but then what surprises me a little is how I see my own story differently almost every time I tell it.
“The most powerful words in the English language are tell me a story.” -Pat Conroy
Connections that seemed so important the first time that I told my own story seemed less important over time. Coincidences and perspective have become clearer over time. When I see those changes the story changes as I retell it and I find that it changes me. I become different because of how I see the story differently. It seems like we continually create who we are but use the same events to shape our own conclusions.
Victor Yocco, in his article Dwelling On The Past: The Importance Of Self Reflection, said `personal reflection enables us to process and make meaning of our experiences. Everyone stands to gain from engaging in some type of reflection.
I have witnessed how other people seem to change their own conclusions about themselves using the same facts from participating in an event at my local church.
Over a period of about 35 years a men's group I participated in met once a month and each time one person would take about 45 minutes and tell the group their life story.
The initial purpose in doing this was to help us get to know each other. We believed that men didn't bond all that easy and they normally were a little shy in a setting like this. We felt it was important to gain an appreciation and even a love for each other.
People moved in and moved away over this time but somehow we were able to keep this going. After a few years it lead to recycling some of us by repeating our story and we would hear the life stories again. I do have some memory issues, but I usually can remember the details of these type of stories clearly. What was interesting is that sometimes the events of a story heard before clearly was viewed differently by the presenter when re told. I had my own occasions of retelling my life experiences that I felt important and it was clear to me that the same events looked different in retelling. There were times when I wondered if a person who seemed to see the same event differently when retold, was doing so because having told the story he then found different new connections to the events. I also wondered if the changes and different emphasis was on purpose just reshaping an image?
People do come and go in our lives and it takes some time to see reasons. When a new person comes we take the influence and new perspective for granted as coincidence. When we look back and see the full impact of the people and new events in our lives we see our own experiences differently and as a result the past looks different and our expected destiny feels changed by the events.
Julie Beck, Senior Editor at the Atlantic wrote a story for the Atlantic in 2016 titled “Coincidences and the Meaning of Life“. A quote used in the article, “A coincidence is in the eye of the beholder.” Her article studies the impact of coincidence suggesting such things as Carl Jung’s theory of “synchronicity”* as potential reasons for these event in our life but it seems clear that when we consider our own life stories that our own experiences and even those coincidences that caused us to consider a different viewpoint do change us and we became a new persons reinvented by our own introspection.
Links to Julie Beck, Senior Editor at the Atlantic wrote a story for the Atlantic in 2016 titled “Coincidences and the Meaning of Life“.
Link to Victor Yocco article Dwelling On The Past: The Importance Of Self Reflection, in Smashing Magazine 2018
Synchronicity is a concept first introduced by analytical psychologist Carl G. Jung "to describe circumstances that appear meaningfully related yet lack a causal connection."
