Effective Communication brings people closer together or ensures that they don’t get closer. →
Effective communication requires you to become an engaged listener. That means changing the usual focus of trying to listen to decide what to say next. Listening well will help you understand the words being communicated, but a person needs to learn how to understand the emotions conveyed.
When you listen, you’ll hear more than just words; you will hear the feelings in someone’s voice and understand that more than terms are being communicated and how a person feels about those words are more important.
Listening this way lets the other person know they were heard and understood. Resulting in a better connection.
What is being communicated often has nothing to do with the words, and the real intention (motive) can be a concern if known.
Snakes have motives
Retired Rattlesnake Roadside-Romeo was on a dirt road in rural Arizona. On the other side of the road was a chicken.
So, he hollers, "Hey there! Babe! I don't usually talk with random chicks, but you should know I am a hundred years old. Do you want to know the secret to long life?"
The chicken is intrigued and asks, "Well, what is it? Tell me"
Roadside-Romeo replies, "What'd you say? Can't hear you."
The chicken says, "What is the secret to long life?"
Roadside-Romeo says, "What, babe? Whatcha sayin'?"
So, the curious chicken crossed the road.
And went near Roadside-Romeo's ear and yelled, "What is the secret to long life?"
Roadside-Romeo hissed and rattled and replied, "Oh!!! The secret is - Don't talk to strangers!"
And in one quick swoop, the snake pounced and swallowed the bird.
And smugly, he thought, "Amazing, I can still pick up chicks with that joke!"
“Effective Communication is not just for good guys.”
#effectivecommunication #earlycareers #motivation #communication #community #listening #intentions
Learning from the "public-spirited-bird- approach" →
For those that have subscribed to this newsletter and come back for new posts, I thank you. I have published a website (Brent M. Jones Connected Events Matter) for 4 + years and before that under another name. The breadth of material covered on the website is amazing. Grammarly told me I had reviewed over 6,000,000 words just this year in everything I do. How is that even possible? If this is your first visit, I hope you will subscribe using the button at the bottom.
A post on October 9th titled "Why, Why, Why do things happen?" featured a picture of a chicken crossing the road at the beginning and then discussed the subject: Why. The answer was suggested that it could be concerning the cause or reason something is done. (Chicken crosses the road?) Sometimes these reasons are called goals, and some are called problems: either way, the attempt to find out why can involve receiving advice.
Today's post involves geese flying in formation. Of course, if you live near someone like me who lives by a lake, you will notice that sometimes both sides seem even and others do not.
Why are there more birds on one side of the V? The simple answer is that geese care about each other. They relieve each other in intervals. Sometimes when geese or other birds are flying in formation, one side of the V has many more individuals and looks like a wedge. This is because they seldom fly directly into the wind, making the formation's downward part easier.
This "bird-public-spirited" approach doesn't stop with the formation. The decision of which bird leads the V formation is also made out of concern for the whole team. The flock of birds will share the lead of the V and rotate throughout the migratory flight. Therefore, as the leaders tire, they fall back into the community, and the birds behind will take over. This indicates that the lead would often change during a very long flight. Leadership is shared, and each takes a turn at it.
What lesson is evident from this short article? The lesson here is that with a team working together to reach a common goal, the group will gain momentum from the first push, continue supporting each other, and develop strategies, values, and action plans. In a V-formation, the whole flock extends at least 71% more flying range than if each bird flew alone.
An obvious question would be, why would any intelligent goose want to lead the formation and work twice as hard? The answer has to do with fairness, not just goodwill. The time a bird leads a formation strongly correlates with the time it can profit from flying in another bird's wake. The birds match the time they spend in the wake of each other by frequent pairwise switches of the leading position. They cooperate because it is in their own best interest.
An obvious conclusion would be to ensure your teams are set up and functioning reasonably.
Networking, Make it Real →
Networking Everyday Event
We have already reached the time when an algorithm can analyze the data of those you connect with to identify interests, career goals, and general experiences. This information can match the user to contacts, making the networking process more efficient.
Professional networking will foster connections and keep you updated on current trends & conversations in your field and areas of interest. They can help you access connections you would not necessarily have gotten offline.
In an article published by Indeed’s Editorial Team on March 15th, 2021, “Top Networking Skills You Should Have (And How To Improve Them),” these three skills were presented as steps you can take to improve your networking skills
1. Practice improving communication habits:
Improve your networking skills by practicing good communication habits. Maintain eye contact when speaking with someone and nod your head in understanding or agreement. Use simple, straightforward language, ask questions and invite opinions. Please pay attention to the body language of the person you're speaking with to make sure they understand and confirm whether they agree or disagree.
2. Ask friends for constructive feedback:
Consider asking friends how you're coming across in conversation. Understanding where you can improve can help you improve your communication style, which can significantly impact your networking skills.
3. Attend networking events:
One of the best ways you can improve your networking skills is to practice them regularly. Attend networking events and focus on building a genuine human connection with the people you meet. Ask questions that show you're genuinely interested in getting to know the person you're speaking with, and listen closely to the answer while maintaining eye contact. Respond with relevant questions to show you were listening. Focus on the quality of the relationships you're having rather than the quantity.
Still, the most important thing to remember is that networking is a two-way street.
Make it real, and do what that requires, giving and taking to build trust.
Staying in contact with your new connections is needed, and looking for ways to help them achieve their goals will develop and strengthen the relationship. It works best one on one because both sides can participate equally.
Finding Inspiration: Should Life be About Winning?
Is Life about Winning?
Is winning a good life goal? Vince Lombardi, the legendary football coach, said, "Winners never quit, and quitters never win." He is among several coaches credited with saying, "Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing.”
The coach’s point of view sees winning as a victory in a contest or competition. Looking for my answer, I turn inward and consider the question as to whether I have ever won anything, which then suggests some game or random drawing.
Whom did I beat to win? If it was just luck, did it matter? Does winning matter? Good questions, but if winning is about getting a prize, is that a good reason to beat others? If it is about the effort, that helps answer this question.
Yes, in my life, I have many times focused all my effort on reaching a goal. When you win in life, you're living the life of your dreams, achieving your goals, and being content with where you're coming to the end of the day. The point is that winning is about your dreams, which still could mean that you want to beat everyone else, and if that is the case, then I have not won anything.
However, looking back, I have to say that my life has been about living and working toward my and my family’s dreams.
If I worked as hard and bright as possible to achieve a goal and someone else also worked as hard and bright as they could to accomplish a goal, and if we both reached the goal, did we win? What if the other person’s results were better? Did we still both win? The answer would depend on whether our goal was to do our best or to succeed the most. Working with your most intelligent thinking and doing your best is the best goal.
What happens when you have to win to survive? Is winning an accomplishment or a necessity? Can you start out wanting to improve on your best and sometimes be the best in the crowd and then wind up in trouble if you are not? If winning is the only thing you value, then problems will come.
#winningtogether #winningmindset #winningteam #winning
Why, Why, Why do things happen? →
Why is a word concerning the cause or reason something is done? Sometimes these reasons are called goals, and some are called problems: either way, the attempt to find out why can involve receiving advice.
Goals often change before they are realized, suggesting they are not the best fit to accomplish what was wanted or wasn’t enough.
The goal can be about anything. The list of accomplishments is endless: winning a game, learning a new skill, doing well on a test.
Offering help to goal seekers is like selling books on how to market their books to newly published authors: an excellent business.
The number of self-help and positive thinking books seems endless. As I look back at my reading, I recall reading every positive thinking book I could find when I got out of college. After a few years, I started reading the classics, philosophy, religion, and history. Then after many years, I looked at Steven King, Lee Child, David Baldacci, and even Louis L’Amour and got hooked on good mystery writers. One conclusion might be that starting life or reading books about goals didn’t lead to me staying in that genre.
The self-help approach to goals is very much focused on accomplishing some specific thing. Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich is an obvious example. Hill’s book does lay out approaches and mindsets that could be like a policy and procedure manual for life, but it assumes that the goal will be lifelong and doesn’t leave much room for what happens if that goal changes and why it did.
I recently read an article about setting goals, and the suggestion was that a person must find the “why” first. Why was the goal wanted or needed? If that was clearly understood, everything was supposed to fall in place.
Understanding the why of the things we seek is good, but goals can change even if we don’t change our understanding of why they would be good to accomplish.
As an employment career coach, I often meet with people who have been employed in a particular field for 10, 20, or even 30 years. Sometimes they lose their jobs and are bitter about the forced change. Sometimes they are overwhelmed and feel burned out. They often start their conversation by telling me why they don’t want to do what they have been doing.
They want to change directions and find something new. Of course, it usually is the case that their years on the job have given them a strong history in what they have done, and it is easy to ask the big question. Are they willing to start at entry level in a new job and take up to a 50% salary cut? A close examination of a person's skills and experiences will usually allow some different direction directions to use the same skills, which is the best direction in these cases.
Sometimes careers are entered with the idea that becoming good in that profession is a life goal. Then when the time comes that a change does have to happen, the question about why it happened turns into why their life failed. Did it turn out that the original choice was wrong?
If a career was picked was a deep passion for that career, then that needs to be accompanied by an ongoing focus on what changes the job and the need for it over time.
Asking why things change opens doors to where the next move is.
The smart chicken crosses the road because it pays attention to the side of the road and knows the best thing to do and when to do it.
#why #careerdevelopment #why_not #careergoals #careercoach #goals #whatmattersmost
Introduction Page "The Human Factor: How Finding Your Dream Job Starts by Getting to Know Yourself
Introduction
Despite our many differences, all humans share at least one thing in common. We all want to be the best version of ourselves.
Some define that goal as connecting to a community, having a big family, or excelling at a job we love. Others can’t necessarily define it but seek the abstract idea of “happiness.” Indeed, once we find our “purpose” and fulfill it, we will find that elusive “happiness,” right?
Alexander Pope said, “Act well your part; there all the honor lies.” But what if you find yourself unsure of your place in this world? What if you know your part but find your goals too impossible?
You need a change, and to get that, you need to change.
Only then will you have the confidence and focus to make that big career change or learn that new skill to help you jump into another profession. Big life changes can be scary. They can sometimes seem impossible, especially after feeling you’ve lived a whole life without changing.
#careerdevelopment #findingajob #passivejobsearch #careerchangers #creativitycoach
#jobopportunity #jobopportunity #Reinvention #Change#educationchangestheworld
#Networking #dreamjobs
#dreamjobmakers #dreamcareer #dreamcareerlaunchpad
#jobopportunity #jobchange #jobseeker #jobhunting
#jobhuntingsucks #jobhuntingtoday
Bob Dylan's song Blown in the Wind tells us"the answer is blowing in the wind" - What was the answer? →
The song “Blowin' in the Wind” by Bob Dylan raises questions. It has been described as a protest song and poses a series of rhetorical questions about peace, war, and freedom but is it literature?
Both songs and poems often bring out human emotions, and both have patterns of sounds, which bring melody to the verses. Some say poetry is more literary because it uses words better and conveys deeper feelings and emotions. Both reflect the same social concerns as literature.
Before you dismiss this post and the question it presents, don’t forget, or if you never knew, let me tell you that the Noble Prize for literature in 2016 was awarded to Bob Dylan for "having created new poetic expression within the great American song tradition.”
Another big thing, assuming you like Bob Dylan, is that Harper’s Magazine, after this award was given, said that “literary means not only what is written but what is voiced, what is expressed, what is invented, in whatever form.” More restrictively, writing is considered an art form or any report deemed to have artistic or intellectual value, often due to deploying language in ways that differ from ordinary usage.
"Blowin' in the Wind" was written and performed by Bob Dylan in 1962. The song became a symbolic song of fighting for people’s rights and equality in society and an anti-war song. It poses a series of rhetorical questions about peace, war, and freedom.
Lyrics
How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
How many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
The answer is blowin' in the wind
Yes, 'n' how many years can a mountain exist
Before it is washed to the sea?
Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist
Before they're allowed to be free?
Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head
And pretend that he doesn’t see?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
The answer is blowin' in the wind
Yes, 'n' how many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take 'til he knows
That too many people have died.
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
The answer is blowin' in the wind
How does reading books help you become more creative? →
Neil Gaiman’s book, the View from the Cheap Seats, talked about fantasy and imagination. What he learned from his trip to China is very interesting regarding this subject.
Neil Gaiman is a fiction writer, especially for young readers, and in 2007 went to a worldwide meeting for fiction writers in China. He knew that over the years, China didn't even allow fairy tales and fiction in their schools, so he was surprised that this event had invited him to China for this event.
He asked an official of the event what had happened and why the interest now was in fantasy and fiction. He was told that top Chinese officials had toured all the big companies they did outsourcing work with within the United States and asked those they met "what they read.” They all said science fiction was a top choice, and fantasy and fiction went along with this. They were looking for why these plants excelled in creativity. It seemed clear from their findings that creativity was sparked by imagination. Fiction and fantasy were added to the school curriculum in Chinese schools.
The book contains speeches, articles, introductions, and essays. His first chapter sets the tone with his focus on "Why Our Future Depends on Libraries, Reading and Daydreaming.” He said in the introduction that he liked fiction because he wanted to "tell the truth without ever needing to worry about the facts."
A creative effort that I have spent years on has been my website:
( connectedeventsmatter.com )
The website has evolved to focus on first books, now around 500, and then positive influences, personal reinvention, career development, books I have written, and other interests that will complement these goals.
Reinventing Ourselves & Our Careers. How to “Be the Change.” How to Reinvent Yourself Each Day. Reinvent the Future. Make Order out of Chaos. Choose Your Direction in Life. Finding Inspiration.
As I added other areas of interest to the site, I found that the base and variety of reading were helpful and complimentary.
Reading helps us be open to new ideas and understand new things. We practice imagination by letting words describe a particular image and manipulating the picture in our minds. This strengthens our minds because we learn from others' experiences and adapt the learning to our environment.
Are we like the old or the new wineskin and why does that matter →
A wineskin is an ancient container made of animal skin. Usually, a goat is used to transport liquids such as water, olive oil, and wine. Is trying to bring motivation, or even change, to an organization like putting new wine in an old wineskin?
The old wineskin has become brittle and set in place. It had done its job for years with no problem, but the new wine hasn’t fermented yet, and as it expands, it will split the old container.
The Bible, Mark 2:22, used this example to teach about dealing with change. “And no man putteth new wine into old bottles: else the new wine doth burst the bottles, and the wine is spilled, and the bottles will be marred: but new wine must be put into new bottles.” ……. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise, the new wine will burst the skins, and it will be spilled out, and the skins will be ruined. But new wine must be put into fresh wineskins. And no one, after drinking old wine, wishes for new, for he says, ‘The old is good enough.
Good news for the Old Wineskins: A fresh wineskin can be a new wineskin, but it can also refer to an old wineskin that has been reconditioned. A reconditioned wineskin is as supple as new and can hold new wine. An old wineskin must be cleaned and soaked in oil to recondition it. The wineskin is soaked until it is rejuvenated to its supple and soft state to be ready for the new wine. So old wineskins are not thrown away or only being used to hold old wine. It can be made fresh again to have new wine!
Of course, we’re talking about people, not wineskins.
People, in their way, can also seem brittle and set in place. The problem is often the perception of what is happening around them. The roadblock is often just the attitude that “this is the way we have always done this.”
A person who has done something the same way for years can seem brittle or inflexible. Several years ago, I knew some managers at a small distribution warehouse with limited space. Jim, the warehouse manager, had a new boss who was expecting things to be done that he was not used to.
Changing things that had always been done one way for years became an obstacle for Jim. The last straw was when an item bought weekly for years, 50 cases at a time, was changed to 100 cases, and the order frequency was changed to once every two weeks. Jim knew about the reasons for the change and the plan, but he did not feel right about all the changes. This resulted in him quitting his job, where he had spent 35 years working, and advancing to warehouse manager.
Change itself was not foreign to the environment for this company, which had grown a great deal over the years. I was more than that “they had always done that way.” It was about the fact that he had always been the sole decision-maker.
Over the years Jim worked for this company, it had expanded its warehouse size many times. He faced increased reserve levels on many inventory items and changes to accommodate buying brackets. If he hadn’t been flexible, he would not have made it far as he did.
Why did Jim become brittle and set in place? He was upset by what he was afraid the future would bring. After Jim left, he enrolled in some classes at the local community college and took some computer classes. Perhaps for Jim, it was more than just turning brittle and unchangeable. Maybe he was just smart enough to see that he needed more skill, but he still was not flexible enough to come and talk about that side of the issue before leaving.
The poet Maya Angelou said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Jim didn’t feel good about his new manager, and that reality was far more critical than the challenges of warehouse changes. The new manager didn’t know Jim and hadn’t had the chance to build a relationship of trust with him.
Are Side Hustles Entrepreneurial? →
Side Hustles Require You to Know Yourself Well
A side hustle is any employment undertaken in addition to one's full-time job. A side hustle, moonlighting, or gig, is often freelance or piecework, providing an additional income that a person takes in addition to their primary job to supplement their regular income.
Calling something or someone entrepreneurial can mean that they know their industry inside out and can exploit that knowledge to create new opportunities and profits. Being entrepreneurial can also mean just sharing ideas freely.
Aspiring entrepreneurs might start a side hustle as a stepping stone toward financial freedom. A side hustle can also allow you to focus on what you're most passionate about if you don't get that satisfaction from your full-time work.
When someone enjoys the type of work they make into a side job, that passion often leads them to become full-time entrepreneurs. Passion is often a driving force that can get you to do unique and challenging things. Passion is an emotion that wants to be acted upon; without action, passion yields no fruitful results. Passion is the fuel in the fire of action. When you have a passion for something, you love it even when you hate it.
A good lesson from the growing occurrence of side jobs is that it isn’t just extra income that motivates people to seek these opportunities. When the side hustle is more fun than work, that can be an important message and help when trying to find a new job. Finding your dream job starts by getting to know yourself * and what you need to know about yourself is what it is that you like. What do you have a passion for? Those areas are where you will find your dream job.
NEVER STOP BEING A STUDENT OF YOUR INDUSTRY →
Burnout is often blamed on job stress that affects an individual’s physical and emotional state and causes mental exhaustion. Often burnout is considered the fault of management, suggesting that the workplace is not managed correctly.
Finding your ideas considered out of date leads to boredom. Placing the blame for boredom leads to denial of what may be the real problem of outdated ideas. I was talking with an old friend about his successful career. He told me he felt his longevity in the industry was perhaps perceived as a negative and wondered if others in the industry felt the same about his longevity. I had to ask myself how this could be. His vast experience should be viewed by himself and others as “added wisdom” gained by trial and error. His viewpoint spoke loudly to his own “burnout,” but is that what years of work must lead to?
The dictionary definition of burnout is “the end of the powered stage in a rocket’s flight when the propellant has been used up.” With people, energy is used up pursuing various goals, and when people are burned out, they feel bored and complacent. You can hear the burnout in someone saying, “We tried that once before, and it didn’t work, and it won’t work now.” Think of new approaches or new ways to use old products and concepts. This will provide you with renewed energy. As a veteran, you shouldn’t worry about making a mistake. You, of all people, should know that a failure or setback becomes an opportunity.
When worrying about burnout, we should stop thinking about the past and look to the future. Don’t start by asking yourself how things have always been done but look back at your past experiences and ask yourself what has changed and why. What is changing in the marketplace right now? Study your industry and learn new things.
Business analyst and author Peter Drucker said, "The best way to predict the future is to create it."
Your path forward becomes more apparent when you look back at where you have come from
Photo Credit to jared-rice at Unsplash
