When I wrote the introduction to Finding the Best Version of Ourselves: The Interview of Self, I didn’t realize it at the time, but it marked a turning point in how I approached writing. I had spent years creating self-help material—practical, motivational, structured. But somewhere along the way, it became clear that most people don’t need more advice. They don’t need louder instructions, clearer steps, or a more forceful push.
What they actually need is alignment.
And alignment begins with reflection, not prescription.
The introduction hints at this shift. Instead of asking readers to “find their purpose,” as many self-help books do, it asks a different question: How well do your goals match who you truly are?
Too often, we chase ambitions that were never ours to begin with—borrowed expectations, inherited definitions of success, or goals that impress others but exhaust us. Becoming the best version of ourselves has less to do with achieving more and more to do with becoming honest.
That’s where the “interview of self” comes in.
Before you can set meaningful goals, you must sit with your own thoughts long enough to understand what you value, what you fear, what you’re avoiding, and what you genuinely want. Deep self-interviewing reveals inconsistencies we’ve ignored and strengths we’ve underestimated. It shows us where we’re aligned, and where we’re not.
This is why the book’s introduction matters. It shifts the conversation from How do I fix myself? to How do I understand myself?
From How do I change? To what do I need to align?
Growth becomes less about striving and more about clarity. Less about pushing forward and more about checking if the path still fits.
In many ways, this chapter was the beginning of my transition from traditional self-help writing to reflective nonfiction. I realized that the real work isn’t about telling people what to do. It’s about helping them see themselves more clearly so they can choose what truly belongs in their life.
Reinvention starts with a question, not a command.
And the search for your best self begins when you’re willing to ask those questions honestly—and listen to the answers.
This reflection was inspired by the introduction to my book, Finding the Best Version of Ourselves: The Interview of Self.
You can read more about the “interview of self” approach on the book page.
